Burgers In Bhutan

Word up from Thimpu, Bhutan, the Land of the Thunder Dragon. I've been here for the past week, exploring goempa's and dzong's and completed a 4 day trek into the wild. For those of you unfamiliar with Bhutan, here are some interesting facts about the country:

- There are no traffic lights in the country.
- Gross National Happiness is measured according to a set of criteria that rates development projects against its benefit to Bhutanese society.
- Plastic is banned (officially, but it is loosely enforced)
- The national animal is the Takin, which was created by Lama Drukpa Kunley, who put a goat's head on a cow's body and brought it to life.
- There is only 1 Muslim in the country.
- There is only one golf course in the country.
- There are no McDonald's, Pizza Hut, KFC, etc. at all
- The Bhutanese Yeti is protected in the Sakten Wildlife Sanctuary in the east of the country. The Yeti eludes detection by having the power to become invisible and by having backwards facing feet.

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The Bhutanese Basketball Federation is having its National Championships at the moment, and I've been to quite a few games as my guide/friend Tshokey plays in one of the teams, the Unicorns. Other names include Squall, Unfold (which would be great names for a shitty metal band), The Usual's, Hunk, Medi-Ocres, Aspen and Shadow's. The Crown Prince plays in Jachung, which looks to be the favourite.

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Apparently I look like James Blunt

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"Night Hunting" is a game played by young rural Bhutanese, where males will follow a female back to their house, only to return later on at night and slip through the window into their room. And do it. All in good fun apparently unless you get caught by the father, in which case you will have to marry the girl (By the way, I'm totally bringing 'Night Hunting' to Whistler as the next best thing since hot tub poaching. I can see the headline now: "A 28 year old male was arrested last night after entering a female's bedroom through her window. When asked about the matter he said he was 'night hunting' and that since he was caught he would have to marry her. The male is currently pending a psychiatric evaluation.").

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Joke from Bhutan: Why do cow's have bells? Because they don't know how to use their horns.

Skillz to pay the billz

Life skills learnt from 15 years in Bangkok:
- The ability to spot a lady-boy a mile away (can I put this under 'qualifications' on my resume?)

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble

Word up from Bangkok, Thailand, where it is wet wet wet. I arrived late at night after a brief stop at Tokyo's Narita airport (or Gnarita for all you Whistlerites), where they quarantined my plane for about 20 minutes until they thermal scanned every passenger for swine flu. My checked in bag looked like it had exploded once it arrived in Thailand. Something had been spilled on it, which seemed to dissolve all the thread holding it together. It's being fixed my the airline, but the way the tailor was talking its going to look like a franken-bag.

First day in the 'kok was good. Stayed at a hotel the first night which was typically Thai: half the reception staff were asleep at the desk and the showerhead was level with my chin. The next morning I was up early for breakfast to find that the majority of the hotel guests were foreigners with their Thai girlfriends/one-night-stands/future wives. Welcome to Bangkok.

Took it easy on the street food yesterday but dove right in today for breakfast: fried egg, rice and mystery meat. All for a buck. Hopefully it won't backfire on me (and yes, using the word 'backfire' is making me giggle).

Wandering around today and meeting some friends for beers tonight at the Londoner. It's a hard life.